remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
