new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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