dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
