I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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