cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
