Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
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I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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