Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
