I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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