Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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