She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
