omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
