Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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