I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
