That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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