Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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