Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
