i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize