i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
