i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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