Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
