shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
love makes seman taste better
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
