Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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