So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
