YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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