I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize