i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
