Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
