I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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