My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
