Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
