I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
