I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
