I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
