the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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