You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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