i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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