oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
