I smell stomach acid.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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