Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
