my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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