he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
