Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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