you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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