By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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