drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
