my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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