I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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