Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I understand Curling. That high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
