What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
