yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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