I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
