You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
