I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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