yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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