Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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