im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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