So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
