is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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