Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
