Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
