So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
